The Curse of Eric Northman – a Theory for Review

Like many of you – no doubt – I’ve been reading up on all the hoopla surrounding the leak of Dead Ever After, hereafter referred to as DEA.  I won’t go into the actual spoiler.  I won’t even go into what I think about the ending that Charlaine Harris chose for her most famous character.  Nope.  I want to discover why so many people are so very upset.  Like everything in history, there is no one clear-cut answer.  It’s multi-layered, like parfait.  So bear with me and by all means comment below if you agree or disagree with my theory.  Be nice – no bashing!  (Unless you’re bashing Bill Compton.  That’s okay.)

The Birth of a Character

Eric Northman was introduced to the Southern Vampire Mysteries in Book 1 of the series: Dead Until Dark.  The book was first published on May 1, 2001.  For argument’s sake let’s pretend that Ms. Harris came up with the series a couple of years before and spent some time outlining and putting things together for the first book.  That means that the characters were born sometime in 1999.  Maybe earlier – does anybody know?  Therefore, Ms. Harris’ mental image of Eric Northman might have looked a little like this:

Yes, that is Fabio, romantic novel model extraordinaire from way back when.  You don’t think so?  Consider the source: Ms. Harris is 61 years old, about my mom’s age, and I remember my mom reading her novels in the late 80’s and 90’s (and me borrowing them) and fawning over Fabio.  He was THE sex symbol of that time.  He fits the parameters for being Eric Northman, at least in physique: long blond hair, blue eyes, muscular and tall (Fabio is 6’3”, I looked it up).

There is no way for Ms. Harris to have chosen the then-unknown actor Alexander Skarsgard as her Eric Northman.  For one, he was only 23 years old in 1999.  For two, he was tall and lanky, not as he looks now.  Think “orange-mocha-frappuccino” lover Meekus, instead of U.S. Marine Brad Colbert.  Same Alexander, but Meekus is NOT Eric Northman.

Now, think of Fabio in his younger days, when he used to pose for book covers.  Yeah… love him or hate him, when Ms. Harris wrote Eric Northman for the first time, she imagined someone that looked like this:

It’s True Blood’s Fault

We’ve all heard the story of how Alexander Skarsgard sent his tape to be considered for a part in True Blood.  When he did that, the only character that had been written was Bill Compton, so we were all like, “AAAAH!  HE CANNOT BE BILL!”  Of course, this came to light after he’d been cast as Eric Northman and well into the role.  To be fair, one thing that Alan Ball got right was the casting of the male characters.  He f-ed up the females, but all the males are dead on.  Now tell me that Sam Trammell is NOT Sam Merlotte, and I’ll tell you you’re wrong.  From the handsome Stephen Moyer as Bill (and, let’s face it, nobody can hate Stephen Moyer – he’s too cute in real life), to Nelsan Ellis as Lafayette, to the extremely handsome Alexander Skarsgard as Eric, they are all exactly how the character would look like to any of us readers.

Let me tell you guys how I came about to read the Southern Vampire Mysteries: In 2008, when the first season of True Blood aired, I heard nothing but great things about it, but never really go into it.  Then in the summer of 2010 I had the opportunity to buy the first 6 books of the series for the insanely low price of $10.  I couldn’t pass it up, not after discovering how much I enjoyed vampires when reading Twilight (don’t judge me!).  While I waited for my books to arrive, I caught the first couple of episodes of True Blood On Demand.  I was hooked!  And when I started reading the books I was able to picture all the characters as I’d already seen them on the show.  It was perfect!

Who else had this experience?  Who else bought the books AFTER watching True Blood?

So here I was, about to start Season 3, reading my books voraciously as well as several times each, and I get to the fourth book and… OH, MY GAWD!  Sookie and Eric end up together, as in TOGETHER-TOGETHER.  No more of those false starts and near misses.  They get it on and it’s sexy, and Sookie is happy, and Bill can go suck an egg for all we care.  But more than that, I already know what Eric looks like and my mind can’t let go of Alexander Skarsgard in the shower with (my version of) Sookie.  And I’m ecstatic!  He’s so handsome, he’s so tall, I love his acting, and now in the fourth book he’s with Sookie.

My Mind Wandered

Right after reading the first six books, I discovered fanfiction.  Bad idea!  Now, not only do I have these wonderful books that I paid for, I can read other stories about Eric and Sookie and how wonderful their love is and how cool it would be for them to be together!  For free, no less!  I bought the rest of the books that were missing from my collection, and… well… I wasn’t very happy with the turn of events surrounding Sookie and Eric.  Let’s be clear: I wasn’t JUST reading the books, I was also watching True Blood with a very firm conviction of what Eric looks like, how he behaves, and a sincere wish that he’s redeemable and Sookie is the one to do it.  Books and TV melded together in my brain to give me one not-so-clear story, but it wasn’t a mystery!  To me “Southern Vampire Mysteries” is a misnomer.  They should have been the “Southern Vampire Romances.”

My wonderful brain conjured up different stories for Sookie and Eric and I offered them up like many of my fellow “fanficers” have done for years.  My offerings to the disappointed readers hit the mark.  Some people sometimes say they don’t know if they read a particular topic in the books or if it was fanfiction!  And I know how that feels, because even I get my facts confused between True Blood and the books.  Like, for example, is anybody else aware that in the “real” Fangtasia there is no raised stage where Eric and/or Pam sit?  That is a True Blood thing.

In the end I got the story I wish Ms. Harris had written, with tons of romance and very little mystery: Alive After Dark – the common sense story of how Sookie would have met and fallen in love with Eric.

But… The Big Mistake

So here we are with tons of versions of the “Sookie and Eric” story, with a clear picture of what a gorgeous man Eric is supposed to be, with a set of mystery books that had a pinch of romance thrown in, and a Southern lady author who writes for money instead of art.  Yeah, I said it!  Time and time again Ms. Harris has said she doesn’t follow her readers suggestions.  That is her prerogative, to be sure, IF she was writing to please only herself.  She has said a few times that is what she does: not to please others, but to please herself.  That is a lie.  She writes to please her publisher and her pocketbook, or she wouldn’t write at all.  I would like to think that a very smart writer would not have agreed to go beyond the eighth book in a series – if she had no plans to do so – just because it’s part of a package that includes selling her characters to HBO.  Of course, there’s no way to know for sure what the bargain entailed, but it’s common knowledge by now that the series was going to end at Book 8, not Book 13.

Why was this a mistake?  Because Book 8 had to be rewritten to fit into a 13-book series, so Ms. Harris chose to throw Sookie and Eric back together.  Oh, no!  Oh, yes… she made us happy.  But Sookie and Eric were supposed to be a one-time thing never to be repeated.  Book 8 filled us readers with hope, even though it was always a tenuous romance at best.  There we were, watching Alexander Skarsgard be Eric, wanting Sookie and Eric back together in the books, wishing for Season 4 of True Blood to start already…!  And the ending that Ms. Harris always had in mind for Sookie was put in the back burner.  Her readers’ hopes for a Sookie and Eric romance were reignited.  But it was never quite right between them because Ms. Harris wasn’t “feeling it.”  She was merely lining her pocketbook.

Am I bitter?  Not really.  Ms. Harris never meant to write a romance.  It says so right there on the spine of any of her books: MYSTERY.  It was never supposed to be a romance, and Ms. Harris seems to be flabbergasted by the level of pissed-off-ness that the spoiler caused.  If we had all read the books as what they are – that is, the Southern Vampire MYSTERIES – then our collective “WHAT?!” would have been muted.  Ditto if the series had ended during its natural cycle of 8 books.  But we all read the “Southern Vampire ROMANCES,” with Sookie and Eric as the leads, with Eric’s face very much ingrained in our subconscious by the appearance of very-popular and ultra-handsome Alexander Skarsgard, and with the expectation that, since the two characters were thrown back together in Book 8, they will continue to be together no matter what.

We have been played

I’m sure if Fabio had played Eric Northman on True Blood, we wouldn’t be having this problem.  Instead, we got this:

*Update*

I spaced and said Fabio, but it was Vladimir Kulich who inspired the Eric Northman character.  I can see it:

Who Dat?!

That little cutie is the newest member of our family: Alexander.  He was born exactly 3 weeks ago on June 26, weighing 6 lbs and 12 oz.  He was full term, which many of my darling readers know is a blessing after my first pregnancy.  I had to have a cesarean, from which I’m still recovering, which is why I’ve been missing for the past month or so.  My stay at the hospital was the usual affair, with a lactation nazi thrown in for good measure.  Actually, 4 out of the 5 nurses that took care of me during my longer-than-normal stay were absolute angels, wonderful in so many ways.  I always have the utmost respect for all nurses, and people like Lauren, Kara, Kit, and Sevan from the Holy Cross Hospital’s maternity unit are the reason why.  I really can’t say enough good things about my nurses.  Now that I’m home I wish I could have brought one of them with me (although hubby is doing a good job).

Just know that we’ve all been watching True Blood, scratching our heads about some of the idiocies (wtf is an ifrit?).  I’m actually enjoying this season, but I may be the only one!  Hubby is predicting what’s gonna happen, which can be both fun and annoying… we’re both wondering about Salome’s true intentions, even though we have her figured out (mostly).

I hope to pick up on my stories soon, and hopefully I’ll be able to continue the True Blood commentary for what’s left of the season.  Thank you all for bearing with me during this special time.

Days of Our True Blood: Season 5, Episode 2

I didn’t get a chance to write about the episode last night because something kinda/sorta funny happened.  My darling hubby was not quite watching the show and was, instead, playing a game on the computer, but he came over during the last ten minutes or so and started watching, fascinated (I blame Chris Meloni, he says it was Lucy Griffiths).  He’s caught a few parts of some episodes, and understands some of what’s happening, but last night he needed to know it all.  I spent an hour explaining everything to him (Sookie/Eric/Bill related only, of course) from the first season up until now.  He just sat there with a bemused expression, probably because I was excited and exasperated (not with him, but with the show).  But, do y’all wanna know what really started him watching the episode last night?  An actor by the name of Christopher Heyerdahl, a.k.a. Dieter Braun, a.k.a. Bill’s torturer.  Why???  Because Christopher Heyerdahl, hubby told me, played Marcus, one of the Volturi triumvirate of Twilight fame.  How does my hubby know this?  Because he watched New Moon (I shit you not) and because this actor also plays some kind of pivotal role in one of my hubby’s shows, Sanctuary… AND, also, hubby has the uncanny ability to remember actors.  I just thought it was a freaky coin-ki-dink that the same actor played a vampire that was part of the highest echelons of vampire-dom in both Twilight and True Blood.

Something else that I discovered last night, as I was explaining the show to my hubby: everything has been Eric’s fault.  If Eric hadn’t tried to eat the witch… If Eric hadn’t tried to get revenge on Russell… If Eric hadn’t given in to Sookie’s wish to go after Bill in Mississippi… I’m sure there are more examples, but it goes to show where the writers want to place the blame.  It doesn’t come as a huge surprise, but it’s still depressing.

So, most of the show was remarkably forgettable (who owns ASkars?  I’m willing to pay the $20k).  But the meeting of the Authority Chancellors and the Guardian was kinda interesting.  There’s a lot about Lilith that I admire (I found a pretty good concise article here), beginning with the fact that she was probably a borrowed Babylonian deity, which would explain why she became persona non grata and they got her out of the Bible post-haste to make room for Eve instead.  Just another moral story.  The fact that Lilith is the mother of all vampires is nothing new, it’s mythology.  What caught my eye last night was the way the Guardian said Lilith’s blood and cut his own wrist, apparently meaning that he was made by Lilith.  Then, as he ends his prayer, he kneels before a closed door.  Many have speculated that Lilith is like the Ancient Pythoness, they only bring her out for special occassions, like the good china.  I personally like this theory, and it would make sense within the context of last night’s episode: why the Guardian knelt in front of the door, perhaps their meetings are held there to keep them within earshot of Lilith.  And the reason she’s kept behind closed doors?  Maybe her age: she would be incredibly old.  Maybe she’s a recluse: there’s only so much BS anyone can take after many millenia of being alive (in a manner of speaking).  Who knows?  It’s fun to speculate though.

How about I point out the inconsistencies?  Sure, why not?

• Pam as a madam.  Yes, we knew from her talking to Lafayette that she had been a lady of the night, but I honestly thought it was after she’d been turned to procure some meals.  That’s besides the point: somehow I don’t see a “Pamela Swynford de Beaufort” living in San Francisco at the turn of the 20th century.  “Pamela Johnson”?  Sure.  Her dress WAS very beautiful, and Eric looked spectacular.
• Emma is a Siberian Husky.  Enough said.
• Tara acts like a mindless ostrich one night, and has an actual thought in her head the next.  Well, actually, that might not be all that OOC.
• Eric and Bill get tortured and neither Pam nor Jessica feel anything.  Pam doesn’t feel when Tara is silvered, twice.  So… these vampires can feel Sookie at the drop of a hat but can’t feel their own children?  Or vice versa?  WTF?

I’m good with inconsistencies.  Feel free to point some out in the comments below, or whatever else y’all wanna talk about.  For now, here’s your moment of hilarity:

Days of Our True Blood: Season 5, Episode 1

Ya know… The episode was titled “Turn! Turn! Turn!” after the song, the lyrics of which were taken from the Bible (“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven,” Ecclesiastes 3:1).  Yet, all that was passing through my head at the end of the episode was the song Disappointment by The Cranberries (“What a piteous thing, a hideous thing, was tainted by the rest”).  I don’t even know where to begin, but I’ll give it the good ol’ college try nevertheless.

I’m going to guess that everything that happened in this episode happened for a reason, as the lyrics to the chosen song will attest.  Of course, for the life of me I can’t figure out what the reasons could possibly be.  Maybe… comic relief!  I did start out laughing my ass off watching Eric clean Bill’s office, bucket in hand, going at super vampire speed (I wonder if he does windows too), while shortly thereafter Pam is talked into turning Tara, the one person she hates more than Sookie, into her vampire child.  We’ve sort of known that Pam’s first attempt was a bust, but she’ll try it out on Tara because Sookie will “owe her one.”  How will Pam collect?  What will Pam collect?  Obviously, there’s a reason Pam decided that turning Tara would be a swell idea.  At the very least she has power over Tara.  My only disappointment is that Tara didn’t turn into a zombie like I wanted her to.  Darn it!

Back to Eric and Bill and that whole mess with the Authority… We knew that Nora was Eric’s sister and that she worked for the Authority, we knew he was going to share a steamy kiss with her when she came along to save him, the sex scene caught me by surprise there, but I’ve been deprived (for pregnancy-related reasons) so maybe sex scenes in general make me hotter than usual… Okaaaay… Anyway, they made Bill! roll his eyes.  Bill, who is now best chums with Eric.  When did this happen, exactly?  Was I there?  Did I miss something?  I’m sure I did.  I was left aghast when Eric went all Brokeback Mountain on Bill: “I can’t quit you!”  All right, not exactly the same dialogue, but the same sentiment.  The reason?  Oh, I dunno… they’re going to have to depend on each other now that they’ve all (including Nora, who’s now a traitor) been captured by the Authority.  Second comic relief of the night: Ike Applebaum… I-K-E-A-pplebaum.  Subtle.  Maybe the guy’s Swedish or something *eye roll* The best part?  Deborah Ann Woll tweeted that she’d start a petition to refer to Eric as Ike Applebaum for the rest of the season.  I’m signing it as soon as it’s up!

I found myself looking forward to the Sookie/Lafayette scenes, and to see the whole entire scene in which Lafayette tells Alcide to fuck off.  I’m glad that someone is standing up for Sookie, particularly when she was about to fold so easily and tell Alcide everything!  What was she thinking?  I understand the reason, though: she, like Lafayette, are going through some major grief.  Lafayette’s judgment seems to be intact, but Sookie’s has always been a little off to begin with.  And, besides, of course she’s already falling for Alcide.  She broke up with both loves of her life a WHOLE DAY AGO!  It’s time for her to move on.  Who better with than another murderer like her?  I say, go for it girl!

So…um, I sorta don’t wanna touch on the following with a ten-foot pole:

• Steve Newlin being a gay Vampire-American, mostly because I thought vampires were pretty flexible with their sexuality so, who really cares?
• Jessica having a frat party in the king’s house and Jason showing up and joining in, because that seems like it would be par for the course for two someones who 1) was a teenager when she was turned; and 2) is the epitome of a frat boy, even though he’s supposed to be a grown man.
• Marcus’ mother eating his intestines.  That’s just EWWWW!!!!  Oh, and threatening Sam by telling him she would kill her own granddaughter (even if we didn’t know it at the time).
• The whole Terry/Patrick thing, because it seems they’re trying to build up to something and I just don’t see what exactly.  The whole thing reminds me of the movie Courage Under Fire with a supernatural twist.  There’s just nothing new under the sun, is there?

As y’all can see I had some time and was able to put this bitch-fest together.  Feel free to add or give your own take on the episode.  I’d love to read what you guys thought of it.  Were you disappointed like me or pleasantly surprised?

Days of Our True Blood: Season 5 Posters

In no particular order (so don’t kill me):

Days of Our True Blood: Vampyr

We have a very… Goth?… new clip for Season 5.  I found it by pure chance when I was lollygagging around Tumblr and saw all these gifs for it… Click here to see the full teaser on YouTube.  There is nothing on HBO GO yet that correlates to this clip.

My first impression: Wow!  This is new.  We’re going from the American South to somewhere in the Old World (I hesitate to say Europe, though it most probably is).  It reminds me a little bit of the Volturi of “Twilight” fame.  Anybody?  Anybody at all?  Am I the only one who read/watched “Twilight”?

Am I excited?  I dunno.  Chris Meloni makes a gorgeous and scary vampire, as we knew he would, so that’s exciting in and of itself.  He’s going to kick some serious booty, methinks, in this new role.  We’re now delving into a bit more serious take on vampires, not that the Southern Vampire Mysteries were a riot and a half or anything.  BUT… was I expecting True Blood to turn into something that deep?  No, not really.  Will it stop me from watching?  Probably not, though it might turn off some viewers.  I think they’re trying to give True Blood the edge it’s been missing, even though they had it during the first season as I’ve said so many times before: Stick to the books, the books got you the awards… but, it’s too late now, so they have to try something different.  I hope it works and we’re kept on the edge of our seats.

Days of Our True Blood: Waiting Really Sucks

Click here to watch the trailer on YouTube, then click here to watch the rest on HBO GO, and remember that HBO will probably have it up until tomorrow at the latest.  The one on HBO GO is literally a continuation of the one that was shown right before Game of Thrones (a.k.a. the one on YouTube).  So here’s the deal about Sam and Luna: they’re talking about someone, but I have no clue who.  If anybody has a better idea, please share.  And for my darling readers who don’t get to see what happens on the HBO GO peek, Sam leaves and Luna hears a gunshot from the outside of her house… then “WAITING SUCKS.”  They weren’t going to make it easy.

Next week: a sneak peek of Eric and Pam!  Yay!  Finally, right?

Days of Our True Blood: Waiting Sucks

We keep getting all these wonderful trailers!  Now we have one of Terry and the mysterious Patrick (click here for the YouTube video).  I actually want to see who or what is this Patrick person.  The running gag we had going on when he first appeared was that he was a shifter that could turn into a starfish… Yes… that was a lame Spongebob joke for those of you who are still with me.  Here’s the link for HBO GO (click here) for those of you who have the service.  It will be up until TOMORROW, come to find out.  The two clips are different.  Just like last week, the one on YouTube that appeared on HBO before Game of Thrones is shorter and different than the one on HBO GO.  So don’t wait to watch it, because it won’t be there!

NSFW (language): And now… because I can, here’s something different.  Enjoy!

Days of Our True Blood: Season 5 – Alcide vs. Lafayette

So who’s not loving all these actual trailers that we’re getting just before Game of Thrones every Sunday?  I am so happy that we’re finally getting a real taste of what’s to come.  There are two trailers that you can access (if you missed it on HBO): one is on YouTube (click here) and the other is on HBO GO.  For the one on HBO GO you need to have a password.  It’s a continuation of the one from YouTube.  Let’s just say that Alcide and Lafayette get into it, and I’m rooting for Lafayette all the way.  WOOT!  Go Lala, tell it like it is girl!  I’ve never liked him more than in that one instant when he’s going all protective over Sookie.  Trust me, y’all: if you’re HBO subscribers and you don’t have HBO GO, get it and watch the rest of the trailer.

OH!  And… I made a boo-boo and said that True Blood was starting on June 24.  Not true.  I don’t know why I had that date ingrained in my brain, but it’s actually starting on June 10.  Even better for me.  I might be able to catch a couple of episodes before the baby makes his grand appearance.

Days of Our True Blood: Season 5 First Look

We were created in God’s image, not humans and their flesh will nourish yours, their blood shall flow within you, for as the beetle nourishes the lark, so shall human nourish vampire.

We finally have a real promo!  Yay!  Although, the True Blood folks are calling it a “Clip Tease,” it looks like an actual promo to me.  Click here to be taken to the clip on YouTube.  I suggest, if y’all are up for it, to subscribe to the True Blood channel to keep up with all these teasers and promos.  If you don’t wanna, I’ll keep posting the links here because I like to analyze (read: bitch) about them later.

Alright, so my first instinct was to go: WTF?!  Then I replayed the promo to listen to it better and to watch the scenes again.  All of it appears to be scenes from the very first episode (or very first couple) that we’ll see in Season 5.  Sookie and Bill are burying yet another body, which is most probably Debbie Pelt’s and/or Tara… though I doubt Sookie would do that to Tara, so I’ll have to go with only Debbie.  The car exploding at the very end could most likely be Debbie’s car, but who knows.  Steve Newlin gains entry into Jason’s house, which I sorta-kinda knew would happen.  And… Hang on to your computers/mobile devices: we see Eric kissing his sister Nora in a more than brotherly way.  EEEEK!!!  Although we knew that Eric and Sookie weren’t going to be together in Season 5, it still came as a shock and my little preggie brain had a hard time letting it go.  I almost cried after I saw that kiss between Eric and Nora.  But, HOT DAMN, what a kiss!!!  I also doubt that Sookie is crying about Eric while she’s in the bathtub.  Most likely, she’s grieving for Tara.

Though we didn’t get much (what’s up with Terry?), just a bunch of “most likely’s” and educated guesses, I think the promo did what it was supposed to do: namely, leave us wanting more.  I sure do.  I’m getting excited!  Now watch my darling baby be born ON June 24th (my guy is due to be born on the 30th).  Who wants to start the pool?  🙂