Something for my readers to think about. Although… I respectfully decline to be nominated, simply because my life is too stressful at this time. However, the premise is awesome and would love for this contest to be super successful. Please read and nominate your favorite authors!
Hi, wonderful readers! I’ve been hiding and having little and/or big crises, depending on your point of view. What happens to me when I simply can’t deal is that I see random internet-y things and some will make me laugh uncontrollably, while others will make me cry. Darling fellow writer and blogger extraordinaire Thyra10 shared this video on Facebook and I cried and cried – even though it’s actually heartwarming. I had no choice but to share it on my own Facebook wall… and then this happened:
Um… WHAT?! Many of you know that I speak Spanish fluently, and my friend on Facebook knows this too. I was hoping she meant to type “Swedish” instead of “Spanish” and auto-correct failed her. Sadly, that was not the case. She truly thought that the video she had just watched was in Spanish. Readers not from the U.S., please, don’t make fun of us. I assure y’all that nobody else made this mistake.
A few days after, Thyra10 posted this article about Scandinavian languages and I laughed, and laughed… because even though I only speak two languages well, and butcher a third and fourth to pieces, I understand the fun she was poking at the Scandinavians and their languages AND their dialects. It’s fascinating that we all seem to have the same problems around the world. I encounter it at home: hubby’s family is from El Salvador and I’m from Puerto Rico. Many words are different even though both countries speak Spanish. Apparently in El Salvador, a “chele,” is an eye-booger (yeah, I don’t have another word for them in English), and “chele,” to me, is a meaningless word. Ask me what I think of when I see a Hyundai Azera. Here’s a hint: “acera” in Spanish is sidewalk. Of course, Spanish in the Americas has been influenced by native languages, but Spanish in Spain also has its share of influences, words like “reloj” (used interchangeably for clock and watch), “pared” (wall), “almohada” (pillow), “nube” (cloud) are all from Arabic, for example. Yet, I could probably hold a very slow conversation with somebody who spoke Portuguese or Italian… as long as my Portuguese friend remembers that if she says she is “embarazada,” I’m going to think she’s pregnant, as opposed to embarrassed.
That brings me to the one thing we’ve been fighting here in the United States, a lot! The U.S. does NOT have an official language. NONE. It has a de facto language, the one we all agree to speak, and that would be English. The Federal government has never declared one language for the whole nation, probably because there are so many languages spoken among American Indians. Actually, that’s my own speculation, not a fact, but considering that the U.S. is an amalgamation of many territories throughout its history, choosing just one language must not have been very high on the list of things to do. I’m one of those who thinks that to live in a country, one ought to know at least a little of that country’s language. But, I make a concession that to lose one’s own language while learning another, is a sure way to lose one’s identity… or gain a new one. After all, us Puerto Ricans do not go parking our cars as others who speak Spanish might. While the correct translation of “to park the car” would be “estacionar el automóvil,” it’s way easier to simply say “parquear el carro.” Roll your R’s at the back of the throat, like they do in French 😀
I was going to wax poetic about culture and language, but then I remembered I’m going through some rough patches and I’d rather laugh than cry. So here are some of the funny things we Puerto Ricans say that will fit any occasion. These are idiomatic expressions (they have a cultural meaning as well) so my translations are as close as I can get within the confines of English. Have fun!
- Estoy como sapo de letrina – I’m like a toad in a latrine (said when one is full after a meal)
- Cuando la rana eche pelo – when the frog grows hair (said when one is waiting to buy something expensive)
- La piña está agria – the pineapple is sour (when one has no money – yeah, I don’t get it either; aren’t pineapples sour already?)
- ¡Me cago en diez! – I shit on ten! (exclaimed when you’ve had it, but ten of what, who knows?)
- ¡Bendito! – You poor thing! (actually it translates to “blessed,” but said with the connotation that you feel bad for the other person)
- Bochinche – gossip, a very Puerto Rican word
- Más jincho que nalga de monja – whiter than a nun’s bun (yeah, THAT bun)
- Irse para el carajo – to go to the “carajo.” Nobody knows where it is, but it’s not pleasant. You can send people there or just exclaim it out loud, and it’s usually followed by…
¡Coño! – that’s a bad word we learned from the Spaniards
- Del lobo un pelo – from the wolf, a hair. When you don’t get the complete result or the desired result, only some, but it’s better than none (my mom says this a lot)
- Más perdido que un juey bisco – more lost than a cross eyed crab (never seen one)
These are fun! There’s a whole list here, but I’d love to here your funny words or sayings in English or your own mother tongue.
Thought I’d share these: 7 of the Steamiest Love Scenes from Classic Literature.
Wooo! It’s getting hot in here!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Welcome to the last chapter of this behemoth of a story. Did my darling readers know that most chapters of this story average 4500 words? Some were longer and some were shorter. And those of you who read through all of it – THANK YOU! Holy Toledo, thank you so much! I apologize for the hiatus I took when life got all crazy, but I thank you (yes! Again!) for coming back. This story will continue to post on Fictionpad a little bit more often than weekly, but I’ll start working on a new story soon – or finish “Let’s Be Friends.” I’m sorry that I can’t commit one way or another. In the meantime, please read the last chapter of “Nothing’s Gonna Change My World.”
This is the one and only chapter in which we actually hear from the Viking extraordinaire. There’s a reason for that.
Hello, darling readers! I promised a nice, happy ever after, and it’s almost here! This is the penultimate chapter to the tale of what happened after “Dead Reckoning.” A lot of things happen in this chapter in quick succession, so keep your eyes peeled for the conclusions that Sookie draws and you’ll get a tiny hint of what’s to come. It is NOT as cut and dry as one might think. I did make a promise of HEA – I did not say it would be boring.
And, if any of you feel like clicking on those links that seem to be live, sorry! The final chapter has been scheduled to post next Thursday… just in case I change my mind and edit it some more.
Look at that, look at what I did. I wrote this chapter in a record three days! Unbelievable… Don’t get used to it.
I read all your wonderful comments. I will not do anything to keep our lovers separated, but I did hint at the “Charlaine-Harris-y” ending that had once floated through my mind. Read the chapter and you’ll find out. Now that it’s out like that, it’s off the table as a possible finale.
Also in this chapter, I addressed a piece of stupidity that happened in the book Deadlocked. That book never happened in this timeline, because this story happens right after Dead Reckoning, so Sookie never finds Eric feeding from another person or anything remotely nonsensical such as that. If any of you lovely readers gave up and never read Deadlocked, then you won’t really know what I’m talking about (you’re the lucky ones). If you, like me, read that piece of garbage, you will high-five me like I’m Barney Stinson and I just got a date while speaking dolphin. Legen….(wait for it)… dary!
My wonderful plans to post these chapters furiously fast went out the window when real life decided to be a pest. But, for more positive news, the end is coming! Yay… What does that mean? It means that I might actually start a new story, or finish “Let’s Be Friends.” I dunno, it’s a toss-up. I guess it depends on my fickle muse and my @sshole real life. In the meantime… enjoy!