Ya know… The episode was titled “Turn! Turn! Turn!” after the song, the lyrics of which were taken from the Bible (“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven,” Ecclesiastes 3:1). Yet, all that was passing through my head at the end of the episode was the song Disappointment by The Cranberries (“What a piteous thing, a hideous thing, was tainted by the rest”). I don’t even know where to begin, but I’ll give it the good ol’ college try nevertheless.
I’m going to guess that everything that happened in this episode happened for a reason, as the lyrics to the chosen song will attest. Of course, for the life of me I can’t figure out what the reasons could possibly be. Maybe… comic relief! I did start out laughing my ass off watching Eric clean Bill’s office, bucket in hand, going at super vampire speed (I wonder if he does windows too), while shortly thereafter Pam is talked into turning Tara, the one person she hates more than Sookie, into her vampire child. We’ve sort of known that Pam’s first attempt was a bust, but she’ll try it out on Tara because Sookie will “owe her one.” How will Pam collect? What will Pam collect? Obviously, there’s a reason Pam decided that turning Tara would be a swell idea. At the very least she has power over Tara. My only disappointment is that Tara didn’t turn into a zombie like I wanted her to. Darn it!
Back to Eric and Bill and that whole mess with the Authority… We knew that Nora was Eric’s sister and that she worked for the Authority, we knew he was going to share a steamy kiss with her when she came along to save him, the sex scene caught me by surprise there, but I’ve been deprived (for pregnancy-related reasons) so maybe sex scenes in general make me hotter than usual… Okaaaay… Anyway, they made Bill! roll his eyes. Bill, who is now best chums with Eric. When did this happen, exactly? Was I there? Did I miss something? I’m sure I did. I was left aghast when Eric went all Brokeback Mountain on Bill: “I can’t quit you!” All right, not exactly the same dialogue, but the same sentiment. The reason? Oh, I dunno… they’re going to have to depend on each other now that they’ve all (including Nora, who’s now a traitor) been captured by the Authority. Second comic relief of the night: Ike Applebaum… I-K-E-A-pplebaum. Subtle. Maybe the guy’s Swedish or something *eye roll* The best part? Deborah Ann Woll tweeted that she’d start a petition to refer to Eric as Ike Applebaum for the rest of the season. I’m signing it as soon as it’s up!
I found myself looking forward to the Sookie/Lafayette scenes, and to see the whole entire scene in which Lafayette tells Alcide to fuck off. I’m glad that someone is standing up for Sookie, particularly when she was about to fold so easily and tell Alcide everything! What was she thinking? I understand the reason, though: she, like Lafayette, are going through some major grief. Lafayette’s judgment seems to be intact, but Sookie’s has always been a little off to begin with. And, besides, of course she’s already falling for Alcide. She broke up with both loves of her life a WHOLE DAY AGO! It’s time for her to move on. Who better with than another murderer like her? I say, go for it girl!
So…um, I sorta don’t wanna touch on the following with a ten-foot pole:
- Steve Newlin being a gay Vampire-American, mostly because I thought vampires were pretty flexible with their sexuality so, who really cares?
- Jessica having a frat party in the king’s house and Jason showing up and joining in, because that seems like it would be par for the course for two someones who 1) was a teenager when she was turned; and 2) is the epitome of a frat boy, even though he’s supposed to be a grown man.
- Marcus’ mother eating his intestines. That’s just EWWWW!!!! Oh, and threatening Sam by telling him she would kill her own granddaughter (even if we didn’t know it at the time).
- The whole Terry/Patrick thing, because it seems they’re trying to build up to something and I just don’t see what exactly. The whole thing reminds me of the movie Courage Under Fire with a supernatural twist. There’s just nothing new under the sun, is there?
As y’all can see I had some time and was able to put this bitch-fest together. Feel free to add or give your own take on the episode. I’d love to read what you guys thought of it. Were you disappointed like me or pleasantly surprised?