Days of Our True Blood: Season 5, Episode 2

I didn’t get a chance to write about the episode last night because something kinda/sorta funny happened.  My darling hubby was not quite watching the show and was, instead, playing a game on the computer, but he came over during the last ten minutes or so and started watching, fascinated (I blame Chris Meloni, he says it was Lucy Griffiths).  He’s caught a few parts of some episodes, and understands some of what’s happening, but last night he needed to know it all.  I spent an hour explaining everything to him (Sookie/Eric/Bill related only, of course) from the first season up until now.  He just sat there with a bemused expression, probably because I was excited and exasperated (not with him, but with the show).  But, do y’all wanna know what really started him watching the episode last night?  An actor by the name of Christopher Heyerdahl, a.k.a. Dieter Braun, a.k.a. Bill’s torturer.  Why???  Because Christopher Heyerdahl, hubby told me, played Marcus, one of the Volturi triumvirate of Twilight fame.  How does my hubby know this?  Because he watched New Moon (I shit you not) and because this actor also plays some kind of pivotal role in one of my hubby’s shows, Sanctuary… AND, also, hubby has the uncanny ability to remember actors.  I just thought it was a freaky coin-ki-dink that the same actor played a vampire that was part of the highest echelons of vampire-dom in both Twilight and True Blood.

Something else that I discovered last night, as I was explaining the show to my hubby: everything has been Eric’s fault.  If Eric hadn’t tried to eat the witch… If Eric hadn’t tried to get revenge on Russell… If Eric hadn’t given in to Sookie’s wish to go after Bill in Mississippi… I’m sure there are more examples, but it goes to show where the writers want to place the blame.  It doesn’t come as a huge surprise, but it’s still depressing.

So, most of the show was remarkably forgettable (who owns ASkars?  I’m willing to pay the $20k).  But the meeting of the Authority Chancellors and the Guardian was kinda interesting.  There’s a lot about Lilith that I admire (I found a pretty good concise article here), beginning with the fact that she was probably a borrowed Babylonian deity, which would explain why she became persona non grata and they got her out of the Bible post-haste to make room for Eve instead.  Just another moral story.  The fact that Lilith is the mother of all vampires is nothing new, it’s mythology.  What caught my eye last night was the way the Guardian said Lilith’s blood and cut his own wrist, apparently meaning that he was made by Lilith.  Then, as he ends his prayer, he kneels before a closed door.  Many have speculated that Lilith is like the Ancient Pythoness, they only bring her out for special occassions, like the good china.  I personally like this theory, and it would make sense within the context of last night’s episode: why the Guardian knelt in front of the door, perhaps their meetings are held there to keep them within earshot of Lilith.  And the reason she’s kept behind closed doors?  Maybe her age: she would be incredibly old.  Maybe she’s a recluse: there’s only so much BS anyone can take after many millenia of being alive (in a manner of speaking).  Who knows?  It’s fun to speculate though.

How about I point out the inconsistencies?  Sure, why not?

  • Pam as a madam.  Yes, we knew from her talking to Lafayette that she had been a lady of the night, but I honestly thought it was after she’d been turned to procure some meals.  That’s besides the point: somehow I don’t see a “Pamela Swynford de Beaufort” living in San Francisco at the turn of the 20th century.  “Pamela Johnson”?  Sure.  Her dress WAS very beautiful, and Eric looked spectacular.
  • Emma is a Siberian Husky.  Enough said.
  • Tara acts like a mindless ostrich one night, and has an actual thought in her head the next.  Well, actually, that might not be all that OOC.
  • Eric and Bill get tortured and neither Pam nor Jessica feel anything.  Pam doesn’t feel when Tara is silvered, twice.  So… these vampires can feel Sookie at the drop of a hat but can’t feel their own children?  Or vice versa?  WTF?

I’m good with inconsistencies.  Feel free to point some out in the comments below, or whatever else y’all wanna talk about.  For now, here’s your moment of hilarity:

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17 thoughts on “Days of Our True Blood: Season 5, Episode 2

  1. Thank you, thank you for pointing out what has been driving me nuts too!! It is also bothering me that the “minor” characters are getting full story lines. I don’t give to patoots about Terri and Arlene’s arson stuff. Or what is the deal with Alcide being all lone wolf? I know he didn’t want to join the pack last season but that was because they were new to the area and he didn’t want Debbie messed up again. Geeze, I have accepted that they are so off book, but he is pack master in the books and now he wants nothing to do with a pack at all???? Ugh…don’t know why I keep watching.

    • You keep watching for the same reason we all keep watching. It’s like a car wreck: you know it’s wrong to look, but you just can’t help yourself. That’s what I keep telling myself, anyway.

      • Haha, you are probably right. (I just reread my comment and can’t believe I used to instead of two. Those type of grammar errors make me nuts.)

  2. I believe it’s all about propping up the Beehl. They are trying to turn the fan base away from Askars and onto Beehl. It’s never going to happen though. Askars is much more popular than Moyer.

    • I feel bad for Stephen Moyer, because I like him as an actor. I mean, he makes me hate Bill. Come on! That’s great acting right there! But he and Alexander get along really well and are always busting each other’s chops. It seems like they have a great working relationship and that’s just great to see. It also seems like Stephen doesn’t take himself too seriously and is relatable. Whether it’s true or not is not the point (I don’t know him personally). He conveys that aura that if you met him, he’d be the nicest guy. Just sayin’. I still hate Bill! 😛

  3. On the subject of makers….since when does it take ony 3 or 4 drops of blood to turn someone into a vampire? If that were true, Sookie should be a vampire like 10 times over at this point. Or does AB think that they magic ingredient is sleeping the ground with them rather than the blood? Uggh. I just can’t stand it. Bring on more Skarsbutt!!! It’s the only reason to watch anymore.

    • Thank you! Sookie has been nearly drained more times than we can count and Bill always “fills her up”! She should have been a vampire if that was the criteria. I do understand why they only leave the new ones underground for one night. The show is only 12 episodes long… Other than that, we should call bullshit!

      • Yeah – I totally get the one night to rise deal, but otherwise that scene drove me absolutely nuts. Although, Pam’s comment about her yellow sweatsuit was freaking hysterical.

  4. Happy you are still hanging in there for your reviews. Certainly agree with them 😉 Best of luck with the new baby!

  5. You hit the nail on the head. How come Pam can’t feel that Eric is in trouble or how could Eric not know if Whora had met the true death, aren’t they all related? There is so much inconsistency now that it seems to me like they just throw theories like pasta on the wall to see what sticks. It’s horrible television really. A lot of people excuse Alan Ball by saying that he has to deviate from the Sookie books…blah blah blah. To those people I point to Game of Thrones where the show stays as true to the books as they can within the TV timeframe and they are producing a quality program without resorting to publicity seeking, shock value programming that serves no purpose. Even Askars can’t save this turkey. The only good thing about last night was Stabler as vampire, he was bad ass. I almost expected him to yell “Where is the girl??? Tell me!!!” And, Christopher Heyerdahl. I know I’ve seen him in a movie or two but I can’t place it right now. Good actors both of them. 🙂

    • Bwa-hahahahaha!!! Whora! That just tickled my funny bone! 😀

      I might sound like a broken record by now, but I’m going to repeat myself: True Blood won all these awards and got all these nominations and accolades during its first season when it followed the first book pretty well, with a few new things thrown in but still worked (like Jessica). Afterwards … *raspberry* I loved the first season. Seeing the book come to life made me love the books AND the show all the more. And for those who hadn’t read the books, it was new anyway so what did they care?

  6. I wondered, too, why Pam would agree to make a child and then abandon that child. I got the impression a maker was expected to protect and teach that child. I think Pam was hoping Tara would kill Sookie, or at least give her a hard time. I guess she succeeded.

    • We know Pam messed up her first turning, but we don’t know exactly how. She’s not the motherly type, huh? We know she redeems herself later, if we’re to believe the trailers. Who knows? I do like Pam a lot, so I’d rather see her as a good maker, like Eric was to her.

    • Still preggers… Now I’m having daily talks with my youngest to make him stay put until my scheduled c-section next Tuesday, when my mom will be here and can take care of my oldest. Everyone…cross your fingers!

  7. I think Eric has been really quiet this season. Usually he is just larger than life. I wonder if the writers are doing that on purpose because his character has taken off with the fan base and the other characters are still falling behind. Maybe its just me I still think everyone wants Bill to die. Even Sookie and Lafayette are cowaring down. Hmmmm.
    I was wondering the same thing as to why Pam or Jessica couldn’t feel their makers. Is it because Bill released Jessica? I think that was in season 3 when he didn’t want anything to do with her. Has Eric shut down his bond with Pam because he told her to go away. Wouldn’t Pam feel Tara’s hunger? Remember how they gave Bill a hard time for not teaching Jessica. What about Pam now? She is a horrible maker. I realize she just did it because of Sookie and a favor owed but doesn’t that go against everything. Isn’t that exactly how Bill did it because he was told (well actually forced)
    So far the story lines don’t really suck like they did last year. The Mickens thing last season was horrible. Also Terry and Arlene really? What is up with Alcide? He was a total wuss last night. He didn’t even defend himself. I completely get why he doesn’t want anything to do with the pack. Ugg. The writers have just made the werewolves this low life group of people. Almost as bad as the panther pack.
    I guess I should quit rantlng now. I will be watching it. If only for the Skars….
    B

    • I dunno about the makers/children dynamics, and why the writers have f-ed it up so much. It makes absolutely no sense. So… a vampire that gives his/her blood to a human can share in the human’s emotions but not in their child’s emotions? And said human will have fun sex dreams about said vampire but a vampire’s child won’t even feel their maker? In any way? Whywhywhy???

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