Chapter 12 – Empty Inside

Nothing’s Gonna Change My World

“We are here,” I heard Eric’s deep voice very close to my ear.  I turned toward it and felt fabric on my cheek, plus I was a bit dizzy.

“Where is here?” I asked, trying to open my eyes.  I was so tired!  I felt that weird sensation of being carried, which was probably exactly what was happening to me.

“Home,” Eric answered me as we moved.

I must have fallen asleep in his arms again because I didn’t notice he’d settled me on the bed, and only woke up again when I started feeling cold.  I groaned my discontent and Eric caressed my hair and shushed me a little.

“I’m just getting you comfortable,” he said, already done with my shirt and slowly stripping me of my pants.

My eyes fluttered open with a lot of effort.  I just wanted to keep on sleeping, but I knew I would sleep better if I took a shower first.  I looked around me and found myself in Eric’s downstairs bedroom, the one I hadn’t been to yet.  I was touched.

“This is your day bedroom,” I said looking around a little bit more.  It was mostly as I remembered it, with the king size mattress, the soft white sheets, and the dark wood bed.  The only things that had changed were the amount of clothes on the floor (I usually made sure they made it to the hamper) and the reading materials on the left nightstand.

“I’m not taking my eyes off you,” he said, his face stoic.  I knew inside he was seething mad at what had happened to me and at Bill.  “You’re sleeping here.”

I closed my eyes.  There was no room for argument if I’d had any.  I knew where this was going and I had a decision to make.  I was too tired to make it, though.  Any other night I would have fought with him and told him to get those notions out of his head.  Tonight, however, I felt tired and vulnerable.  I felt my exhaustion soul deep, to the point that I felt like crying.  All I wanted was Eric to take care of me.

“Tell me later how you found me,” I said, my eyes still closed.  I took deep breaths and let Eric tend to me.  I felt the bed indent by my side, and his hair started trailing a path over my face.  He was sniffing me.  I let him.  He needed to make sure I hadn’t been touched.  I understood this and decided it was worth the embarrassment of having him smell my crotch to set his mind at ease… even if I did need a shower.

“I smell blood,” Eric said, his hair tickling my thighs.

I grimaced.  “I’m about to have my period,” I mumbled mortified.  I opened my eyes and pushed at him, sitting up as fast as I could.  “I need a shower,” I announced and got up.  That was a bad idea.  The room started spinning the moment I did that and I almost lost my footing.  He grabbed me quickly and steadied me.  Then he seemed to think better of it and hugged me.

“I was so worried.  You have no idea Sookie.  I couldn’t feel you and for one terrible moment I thought…”

“That I was dead,” I said and almost choked.  Yes, I did have an idea of how he felt: the desperation, the feeling that if Eric wasn’t in my life I would be lost.  I hugged him hard, as hard as my tired limbs permitted.

Eric picked me up and carried me to his bathroom.  He turned on the shower and helped me take off my underwear.  He was still wearing his clothes when he got in the shower with me, refusing to let me help him take them off.  He turned me around and washed me: shampooed my hair, ran conditioner over it, soaped me and rinsed me.  All I had to do was stand there.  I closed my eyes, enjoying the scents that surrounded me and his hands all over me.  It was more than sexual.  He was being tender.

His gentle touch continued as he dried me with a fluffy towel that smelled like him.  It didn’t escape my notice that he was replacing whatever and whoever he’d smelled on me with his own scents: his soap, his shampoo, his used towel.  Eric took off his soaked clothes and dried himself quickly, taking me back to bed and tucking me in beside him.

“Thank you,” I said suppressing a yawn.  I met his eyes and he still seemed worried.  It probably had to do with the bruise on my head.  “What’s on your mind?”

“Will you take my blood?” he asked.  The worry hadn’t left his expression.  If anything he looked more worried now.  He’d already explained to me the blood sharing and blood bonding, so his apprehension was understandable.  I might not want it.  By the same token, he might not want it.

“Are you sure?” I asked.  “I don’t want you to resent it.”

Eric’s worry turned to surprise.  “You’re the one who might resent it, not me.  I can’t bear the thought of someone taking you away from me again.  Tonight…” he paused, looking away as if searching for words.  When he looked at me again I read anger.  “Tonight my desire to have you back in my arms overrode my desire for vengeance.  It is the only reason that Compton is still around.”

“You have to know something.  I have to ask you something,” I said, unsure of what was more important: telling him I loved him, or asking him if he loved me.  I decided I was the more courageous of the two as far as feelings were concerned.  He looked at me expectantly and waited for me to talk.  “I love you,” I said and looked away, but not before putting my hand over his mouth.  I wasn’t done.  “I’m in love with you, Eric.  I understand that you may not feel the same way about me.  I know that feelings are not your strongest point, but…”  I couldn’t finish.  My thoughts had atrophied at the magnitude of what I’d just confessed.

Eric kissed my hand then pulled it away from his mouth.  I still refused to look at him.  I feared to find pity for my weak human heart.  “Won’t you look at me, my Sookie?”

His voice was deep and gentle.  He ran his fingers over my cheek while I continued to stare at the small expanse of white between us.  I knew I had to look at him.  I’d been brave in confessing my love; I had to be brave for the rest.  I met his brilliant blues and… lost my breath.

“I love you,” he murmured, his voice felt like the kiss he gave me right after he said those three wonderful words.  “I love you, Sookie,” he said against my lips, and I couldn’t stop the wide smile that blossomed on mine.  “It took you getting kidnapped for me to realize it,” he chuckled.

“What are you going to discover about yourself next time I get kidnapped?” I asked and made him laugh.  We laughed together.  He was like my Eric, but more.  So much more.  This was the part of him I’d glimpsed and wanted, the man (vampire) who loved me and loved his life and loved me to be a part of it.

“Perhaps I will find how much I enjoy knitting,” he said between guffaws.

“Maybe I’ll get myself kidnapped more often, so you can make me a sweater!” I snorted.  It was deranged of me to be so happy after getting rescued from abduction, but it was easy to be happy next to Eric.

“Oh, dear one, please don’t do that to me again!” he said and hugged me, crushing my face into his chest.

“You got it,” I said, letting his chest hair tickle me.  I sighed.  I knew that if he asked me to move in with him at that moment I would answer “yes, a million times yes!”  But he wasn’t going to ask just yet, and I needed a little time to clear my head.  I wanted to make sure that when I said “yes,” it would be because I loved him and wanted to start making a life with him, not because I was scared.  I remembered when Eric’s maker had come into my house and how scared I’d been then.  I would still need a place to go to if something like that happened again.

A knock on the door made me jump within Eric’s arms.  He held me tighter and called out a deep “Enter,” which in the fogginess of my exhaustion I found funny.

“I hope Sookie is indecent,” I heard Pam say.  There was a pause and then a mock sigh of exasperation.  “I can’t see anything,” she whined.

I giggled and Eric growled.  “Did you bring Sookie’s clothes?”

“Yes, yes.  It’s all upstairs,” she said in a dismissive tone.

Eric pulled away a little bit to look at me.  “Do you want your nightgown?” he asked me, running his fingers through my damp hair.  I bit my lip and shook my head.  He smiled, reading my expression for what it was.  His lips descended on mine with undisguised lust.

“Can I watch?” Pam said and cackled from the door.  She left before Eric could throw something at her.

“How long have you loved me?” Eric asked, reaching between us to ply me gently.  His fingers sent tiny tremors all over my body which began in my middle and radiated to my fingertips and toes.

I gasped.  “Longer than you will believe.”

“Love at first sight?” he asked between kisses.  His mouth was slowly moving to my neck, his fingers busy caressing around my little nub, and the sensations were making me forget how tired I was.

“Yes,” I answered nearly breathless.  He was getting me ready, teasing and probing.  His clever fingers were especially clever tonight.

“I remember how much I wanted to rip that pretty dress off you.  But your smile, Sookie,” he pulled away to look at me again.  “You smiled at me when we were outside the club, and it was as if you knew me then.”

I shrugged one shoulder.  “I felt as if I did know you.”

Eric turned and brought me with him until I was on top and straddling his hips.  His hand was still between us, but this time it moved to grab his gracious plenty and guide it to my entrance.  I directed the movement and took him inside slowly, watching as his features filled with pure bliss.  I was using his belly as leverage but he took my hands and put them around his neck.  Our bodies glided past each other as we made love and I found that I couldn’t stop kissing him.  I kissed his chest and licked each nipple, making them bud for my waiting mouth.  I kissed his lips and sucked on his tongue, tasting his sweet saliva.  I kissed his neck like he’d kissed mine, running my tongue down and across his left clavicle, and back up to his shoulder.

“Bite, Sookie.  Go on, lover,” he said, holding my hips and taking over the thrusting.  The way he said “lover,” it was just as I remembered.  It was a caress, a soft entreaty to be his one and only, and to make him my one and only as well.  I wanted us to be one again.  I bit hard and drew blood on the first try, sucking on his skin to make sure it flowed into me.  It was exquisite to have him thoroughly inside me, his manhood and his blood.  I was surrounded by him in every way, inside and out.

Eric bucked his hips under me, holding me tight as he continued to thrust, moaning as I sucked on his skin to get his blood.  He tasted so good, and the moment was so perfect, I felt overwhelmed.  I felt my tears smart my eyes at the same time that my orgasm blazed through my body.  I was barely aware of Eric’s grunts at my neck as he sucked on my blood and had his own amazing moment.

I was completely spent and became a limp rag doll on top of him.  He wasn’t in any hurry to move me, just continued his sweet caresses over my back and down to my butt.  My tears slid down to his chest and I sniffled, at a loss as to why I was crying.  It was the first time I’d cried during sex.  Maybe it was hormones.

“Lover, did I hurt you?” Eric said immediately, turning us so he could look at me.  He made sure the wound on my temple was healing, and then looked down the rest of my body.

“I’m not usually this weepy,” I said, horrified that I was crying in front of him, again!

“I would have to take your word on that.  Where did I hurt you?”

“You didn’t.”

“I must have…”

“You didn’t, Eric, please believe me.”

“Am I to take your tears as a sign that you’re unhappy?”

I smiled, even through my tears.  “I’m very happy, maybe that’s why I’m crying.”

Eric’s frown cleared and he shook his head.  He hugged me tight.  He was at a loss too, not knowing what to do or say to soothe me, since I’d just told him I was happy.

“I’m happy too,” he said in his deep serious voice.  “I was not myself when I thought I’d lost you.  I will kill Compton.”  He growled the last sentence

I was not going to be the one to beg for Bill’s life.  Bill had taken it too far and now he was the mercy of the sheriff.  “Do what you have to do,” I said, then remembered every single thing Bill had done to me, from drinking blood from another person with me in the same hotel room, to attacking me in the cemetery in lieu of killing me, to professing his love when all he was doing was procuring me for Sophie-Anne, and in particular what had happened inside that dark car trunk.  “Kill him,” I sneered, forever thankful to Eric for peeling back that trunk and getting me out of Jackson.

“Your wish is my command.  When I went to your house I could smell him around your front porch.  I called in every favor I was owed.  I’m glad you were in Gervaise’s care.  He understands better than others.”

“You told him I am yours,” I summarized.

“Of course, and you ARE mine.  Now you are irrevocably mine.  We are bonded.  No vampire would dare take you from me.”

“How would they know I’m yours?  Do I smell like you now?”

“Yes, and I will introduce you as mine,” Eric said.

“Do you know why Bill wanted me?  Was he just trying to take me to the Queen?” I asked, fearing it was more than that.

“I don’t know yet.  I have sent a formal complaint to her majesty that Bill took you.  If she grants it then I can interrogate him before I carry out his sentence.  If not, then my methods will require a quicker death.”  Eric wasn’t kidding.  He was going to kill Bill whether he had permission to do so or not.

I didn’t speak because my own grievance with Bill went much further than I could explain to Eric.  Or to anyone, for that matter.  I snuggled closer and closed my eyes, trying not to think of anything else and sleep.

That night, dreams of being abducted visited me in all their gory detail.  I’d lost count already how many times I’d been on the brink of death, but the abductions were still fresh in my memory.  Neave and Lochlan played a dreadfully gruesome role in the nightmare, until my screams broke through my dream.  I woke up with Eric holding me tight, my arms and legs flailing helplessly, moving them in a way I hadn’t been able to at the time I was under the fairies’ control.

“Why were they so cruel?  Why couldn’t they just kill me?” I cried, screamed.  I was asking Eric questions that he couldn’t answer.

“Please Sookie, please tell me.  Who hurt you?”

“I never did anything to them!  And nobody came, nobody came.  You didn’t come, Eric, why?  Why?” I was hysterical by then, half awake and half asleep.

“I’m here, darling.  Who hurt you?”

“The fairies!  They cut me, they ate my flesh, they fucked in front of me.  They made me scream… they… they cut me,” I said again, looking down at my naked body.  A small lamp was on and I could see perfectly well that my skin was smooth where I’d thought I had scars.  It took me a long minute to understand why I was whole.

I buried my face in my hands, crying away all the hurt and putting the memories away again.  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I said to Eric, who could now feel every single thing I felt too.  I looked up and saw as dark tears began to stain his cheeks.  He’d been trying to hold me but I’d pushed him away.  “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it.”  I reached for him and wiped his tears with my bare fingers.

“Who hurt you so badly, Sookie?  I could feel your pain,” he demanded.

“Remember I told you about my fairy kin?” I asked; he nodded.  “When the water fairies discover how much I mean to my family they will send the two torturers, Neave and Lochlan.”

Eric seemed to blanch, if that was possible.  I’d left that part out the first time I’d told him.  He was so shocked that it took him a moment to even look like he was thinking, and longer to actually speak.  “If you’re a vampire you won’t mean anything to them.”

It was my turn to blanch.  He was right, of course.  The surest way to keep the fairies away was to die.  I just didn’t feel suicidal enough to want to accept that fate.  I turned it around on Eric.

“If your maker had offered you to live or die, what would you have chosen?” I asked him.

“I chose to live.  I drank the blood,” he answered, trying to outsmart me but knowing that his argument was invalid.  He gave up quickly.

However, I’d had a change of heart as of late.  “If you think it’s the only way to save me, I give you permission to change me.  You or Pam, nobody else,” I qualified.

A small smile graced his lips.  “You would be magnificent.  I would let you drain those fairies all by yourself.  I would even hold them down for you.”

“That’s very sweet of you, but it still sounds creepy to me,” I shook my head, half admitting to myself that having the ability to, at least, kill those fairies would feel freeing and empowering.  “I’m sorry I had that dream again.  You can blame Bill.”

“I intend to,” he said, gathering me in his arms and snuggling back under the covers.  He was silent for a few minutes, and I was letting my heart rate settle back to normal when he spoke again.  “It killed me to hear you say that I didn’t come for you.  I will always come for you.”

“I know, baby.  I know.”  I caressed his chest.  I did know.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I held Eric’s hand so tight that I was glad he was a vampire and able to take it.  A human would have winced or removed his hand from mine already.  I was not ready for this, even though I’d assured Eric that I was.  He’d offered me the option of staying with Pam at Fangtasia or coming along with him.  Those had been my only options.  I would have balked, but I was still smarting from getting kidnapped and the nightmare that had followed.  I was clinging to Eric like he was by big, tall and sexy security blanket.  It helped that since we were completely blood bonded, having him nearby was a comfort to me.  He didn’t mind.  He wasn’t ready to let me out of his sight anytime soon.

We entered the Shreveport Police Department’s barracks and went straight to the vampire section.  Since Eric was the sheriff, he knew the lay of the land, so to speak.  Of course, the vampires that worked for the SPD didn’t work for Eric, but there really was no other way for the human authorities to deal with vampires than to have a vampire authority handle the punishments.  That was Eric.  I’d known very little about it before, but now I’d been experiencing it firsthand, ever since the cops took Long Shadow away and Eric was in charge of meting out his punishment.

Now it was Bill’s turn.  He’d been transported from Gervaise’s area in Baton Rouge back to Shreveport.  Eric had the Queen’s order in his hand and handed it to the captain of the vampire police squad.  The vampire gave Eric wide berth to do what he had come here to do.  But first… some answers.

We entered a room lined in silver, and I felt Eric’s strength wane.  Inside the room they were as strong as humans within their bodies.  Bill was as strong as a man of his height and weight would be.  Eric was significantly stronger, as he was larger, and regardless, he was the older of the two vampires.  Silver affected him, but not as much as it affected Bill.

Across from where we stood was a cell with bars covered in tarnished silver.  There was no one to bother with polishing them, what would be the use?  Making them look pretty for the prisoners?  It wasn’t going to happen.

Bill stood inside the cell.  He’d been pacing until we entered the area.  Behind us, the captain stood to bear witness to Eric’s interrogation.  I was the victim confronting my attacker.  This felt like a primetime drama: Law & Order Vampire, or some such nonsense.  Eric got in position, letting go of my hand and standing half in front of me.  He crossed his arms over his chest, looking even larger than his usual, filling up with air and anger.

I studied Bill.  He was stoic, unrepentant, unafraid.  His eyes roamed over me and they were empty of emotion.  It almost hurt me to see him so distant.  I’d loved him.  He was hurting me now and he didn’t even know it.  It didn’t matter to my heart that Eric was my everything now.  At one point Bill had been mine, or so I had thought.  He’d professed his love but they had been empty words, and I’d believed them.  The only time I believed he loved me was when I was finally out of his life and he couldn’t have me.  Way to regret what he had lost, I thought to myself.  It’s true what they say that it’s hard to forget one’s first love.

My hand moved of its own accord to touch Eric somehow.  I needed the connection.  I needed to know that there was somebody who did love me as much as I loved him.  Eric had gone above and beyond what I thought he was capable of doing and feeling for me.  I touched his back just above the waistband of his dark pants and he relaxed his shoulders, turning to look at me.  His mouth was set in a grim line, but his eyes were asking me if I was all right.  He must have seen the tears in my eyes because he opened his arm and brought me close against him.

The anger rose within him to a fever pitch as he turned back to Bill.  “You hurt my blood bonded.  You abducted her and took her from her home.  Why?”  Eric’s voice was hot with ire, booming through the small space and resonating inside my body, as close as I was to him.

Bill seemed to react to the news that I was bonded to Eric, but otherwise kept his cool.  He was very good at that.  “Once the Queen finds out what she is, she will not be yours for much longer.”

“And what is that?” Eric spat.

“A time traveler.”

I froze at Bill’s words and felt like the room started to spin.  I had to keep my cool and pretend that Bill was crazy as a shithouse rat.  And by golly, that was exactly what I did.  I snorted and hooted, becoming almost hysterical with laughter.  It was the reaction I would expect from anybody if they heard the truth from my lips.  Eric seemed to chuckle beside me.

“Did you suffer a head wound during the Civil War?” Eric asked.  Even the captain was laughing behind us.

Bill was not amused.  “She knows the future because she was in the future.  Let her tell you how she has traveled to the past,” he said and suddenly looked smug.  I sobered up quickly.

Eric didn’t let me say anything.  “She’s psychic, you moron.  I’ve met psychics before, but of course, you are probably too young and not well-traveled to have met any.”

“Don’t believe me, Northman.  She is your blood bonded,” Bill pointed out.

“Exactly, which means that you should be put to death for even looking at her!” Eric shouted, done with the laughing and not caring for Bill’s theories.  He let go of me and started to charge the cell but stopped before touching the bars.  “Don’t you ever look at her again,” he said.  This time his voice was dripping with venom and a promise of a swift death.

“I’m looking, and she’s delicious.  She’s had my blood too.  Did she tell you that?” Bill spewed out.  I started looking around for a stake.

Eric deflated.  It was time for damage control.

“If you had shown up for our meeting on time, Bill, I would not have been beaten to within an inch of my life to begin with, asshole.  Next time I’ll let the Rattrays drain your ass and save me the aggravation.”  I was spitting mad.  Then I remembered that I could touch the bars.  I stepped close and wrapped my hands around them.  “Come closer Bill, and let a girl hit you!”

I felt a pair of strong arms tug me away from the bars.  “You’ll get your chance if that is your wish,” Eric whispered in my ear.

Now, I’m not a violent person, and the times I’ve hit or killed have almost always been in self defense, but considering the shit Bill had put me through and my state of mind at that particular moment… let’s just say he was lucky the captain didn’t offer me the stake hanging from his belt.  Oh, yeah!  I knew where it was and knew how to use it.

The captain pressed a button and two burly vampires walked in carrying chains and wearing a lot of leather everywhere.  Bill didn’t offer any resistance as they wrapped the chains around him and led him to the center of the room and to a sturdy metal chair.  The smell of burning flesh was starting to drift to me, but all it made me want to do was rejoice.  Once he was secured to the chair, all the vampires turned to me.

“The Queen wants him alive, but he is to be punished,” Eric said.  I didn’t turn to look at him.  I kept looking at Bill trying to see something, anything, in his eyes telling me he was sorry in any way.  There was nothing.  He was empty inside.

It seemed that it was ladies first so I approached Bill.  “Did you let the Rattrays beat me to within an inch of my life on purpose?  Did you do it so you could get your blood inside me?”  I stared into his eyes, registering a bit of surprise and something else.  At that moment I was convinced he’d done it on purpose.

I wasn’t Jason Stackhouse’s sister for nothing.  I delivered a right hand hook to his nose that made Bill almost topple, chair and all.  It hurt me like a motherfucker but I wasn’t done.

“Did you seduce me to procure me for the Queen?”

Bill didn’t answer again, so I hit him in the throat.  I didn’t care if he didn’t need to breathe.  If he was not going to talk and answer me, then I wouldn’t feel bad about injuring his larynx or trachea.

And then I lost it.  Without speaking, without asking, and without Bill knowing why I was hitting him so hard that I was injuring myself, I went for it.  I kicked him, punched him, over and over, wishing I had a bat, a chain, a gun!  Inside I was exacting revenge for him raping me, for his lies, for the fear, for the love that hadn’t been returned, for my having another dead person on my conscience, for my pain.  Bill kept healing and I kept punching and screaming at how little I was hurting him and how much I was hurting myself.

I stopped and looked at myself covered in blood, both mine and Bill’s.  “I can’t do this,” I said, but I was thinking “this isn’t me.”  Yet it was me.  Had I become someone else?  Bill now was paying for everything he’d ever done to me, past, present and future.  And yet he had saved me from the fairies, gotten silver poisoning, redeemed himself in that way.  I looked back at him, to see if there was anything, if I’d gotten through.  His puffy eyes were healing and I could see his hate.  Nothing else.  No pity, no understanding, no atonement.

“I hate you too, Bill Compton.  What would your wife say if she knew what you did to me, or your children?” I asked, but my voice had given out, so it came out as a harsh whisper.  It had the intended effect.  He hated me more for reminding him of his human life.  “Your sister Sarah, the one you loved so much, what would she say?” I pushed.

Bill’s nostrils flared.  I’d finally hit him below the belt.  And I had one last thing.  “Your progeny married a Bellefleur.  Caroline Bellefleur is your great-great-great-great-granddaughter, and she’s in ruins just like Bell Rive.  What’s more, I will tell her you are related so that you can’t give her your money because she won’t accept it.”

I could feel the smile tugging at my lips.  There was something freeing in having Bill hate me.  I turned to Eric who was watching me with undisguised pride.  I didn’t need to be a mind reader to know he was sizing me up for a role as his vampire child.  He saw another fighter, like Pam.  I didn’t blame him.  But I was still plenty human.

“Your turn,” I said to him in a croak.

Eric smiled and moved to Bill.  I moved away with every intention of not watching, but I couldn’t help it.  I was more than curious.

“Compton must be able to type,” the captain reminded Eric.  Eric didn’t look at the other vampire but nodded his understanding.

I was taken aback when he lowered Bill, still attached to the chair, onto the floor.  He did it almost delicately.  It was a strange thing to watch.  Bill ended up on his back, his torso, arms and legs chained to the chair, so that he looked like an upside down beetle.  Eric towered over him, looking like the picture of civility.

“You are not to speak of Sookie, look at Sookie, or even think of Sookie.  She is mine.  The abduction of your sheriff’s blood bonded would usually carry the penalty of death, but your queen has spared you that fate.  After tonight you will leave my area and make your home elsewhere.  You owe me two hundred thousand for your indiscretion, and I expect the money in two days.  Do you understand?”  Eric was watching Bill closely, waiting for the answer.

“Yes, Sheriff,” Bill said through clenched teeth.

What happened next occurred so fast that I didn’t see it coming, only saw it happen.  With a force I didn’t know he possessed being inside the silver-lined room, Eric brought his boot-clad foot up and over Bill’s chest, and with amazing strength slammed it down.  The sound of bone and sinew giving way was as loud as a train and horrid.  Bill’s scream died as soon as it began.  I couldn’t watch and turned away.  Curiosity, after all, killed the cat.

Next Chapter 

84 thoughts on “Chapter 12 – Empty Inside

  1. Excellent chapter by the way. I love how Sookie finally was able to shed some of that pent up rage. My timelines might be meddled, but how did Sookie know all about Bill’s family if she wasn’t ‘supposed to know’? I do wonder how our Billy-boy came to the conclusion that she was a time traveler.

    So glad that you are updating. It is really hard to not let bad reviews effect us, but as writers we do put ourselves out there without pay and these are our thoughts that people choose to read. *hugs*

  2. I’ve followed your stories at FF. I’m thinking someone was unkind to you there? I’m sorry to hear that. I think it takes courage to put yourself out there, whether with fiction, poetry, art… I hate that the anonimity of the interwebs allows people the courage to rude. That being said. I love this story. Can’t wait for the next installment, and I want to go on record cheering for Sookie. I thought in the books she was to forgiving of Bill’s rape of her. patsy

  3. Can I just say that I love your character development for Sookie? There are a few fics floating around that shed light on the main character’s shortcomings but it always seems to flow too seemlessly or too dramatically. Your interpretation includes her determined nature but allows for bits of doubt.

    I’m terribly sorry to hear about the reviewers who criticized your choices because I truly think this is a terrific story and have yet to be even the slightest bit disappointed. And I don’t suspect that I will.

    Please stay the course!

  4. Loved the chapter. I’m glad Sookie was able to get a few licks in on Bill. I wounder when Sookie and Eric will talk about Bills comments? Since they are blood bonded then there could be trouble on the horizon if she does not tell him the truth. Sookie becoming a vamp in this story…I always love Sookie for a vamp so only time will tell!!!!

  5. *Squeels* I am here from FF.net, but I had to come and get the next chapter! I absolutely adore you work, and I just wanted to tell how accomplished you should feel. This story in particular is one I have taken and extreme liking to. I can’t wait for coming chapters! Oh btw, this made me cry. I almost feel as if Sookie is betraying Eric in a way. I mean, I know she thinks it’s for the best, but I really think Eric deserves to know – not to mention it would make things a heck of a lot easier with him in the loop and out of the dark. Eric is so flippin’ sweet, and it breaks my heart at even the thought of him dying. Update soon!

    -Happy writing!

    Just-A-BlondeThang

  6. Love it! That was fantastic!! Sooike going all bad ass..lol. Go future vamp Sookie. Hehe..I need more. Did he kill him anyway…stop teasing woman. 🙂
    Can’t wait for more and as you can see I’ve been following all your stories so if this is where you reside I’m here too. Now hurry and give us more, anticipation is killing me…slowly.

  7. Love your writing and story! Sorry to hear you received really negative feedback. Try not to think about it too much. Easier said then done right. Anyway, my only conplaint is that you can’t update fast enough to appease my thirst for your story. Want more now! 😀 thank you!

  8. so… I guess she still hasn’t explained everything to Eric yet.. hmm I think she most definitely should. How exactly does Bill figure she’s a time traveller though? I mean that’s certainly ot the straightest line betwen two points. Fantastic chapter, as always I madly love your story. Keep up the fab work and *sniffles* come back to ffn! Don’t let the douchenozzles get you down! Ok that’s just me being selfish b/c I prefer ffn to wordpress on my phone. Do what makes you happy.

  9. I found this story just a few days ago and all I can say is WOW!!!. I love it and am now following on your blog. It is so sad that people cannot just go with the story and appreciate how good it is. I know I do. Keep up the great work.

  10. You know I’ll follow you no matter where you post! 🙂

    Yikes….how did Bill know?? I’m thinking it will only make it worse when Eric finds out the truth… 😮

  11. Wow! What a way to get out your frustration on those bad reviewers. I think that witches could have told QSA or Bill about Sookie. They may have sensed sort of a disturbance in the force type of thing. Also Bill could have overheard Sookie talking to her cat. This was also a great way for those of us frustrated with the TB/AB mess that was this season to see a little bit of Sookie Whoop Ass turned loose on Bill for all of his crimes that no one seems to recall now. Nice job. 🙂

  12. They said the three little words!! Eric was so sweet and caring! Bill is a bigger jerk than usual.. Too bad he was spared! Well see how long he lasts. Sookie accepting possibly becoming vampire? Going back to change things has certainly changed her perception!

  13. Great Story, So sorry that FF is being a bully. Your story is great don’t know how people that read Sookie/Eric stories can dislike it. Your story is great that I hope the real story from CH has a similar storyline for the next 2 books like yours!

  14. Well you know I will read your stories wherever they are, but I am sorry for all the nastiness on FF. This was so good, they are bonded (!) they admitted their love (!) and Bill got the shit kicked out of him (!!!!!). This is me very happy. 😀 I am still concerned about how Bill knows what Sookie is doing. Bill with a little intel is a very bad thing. Does QSA want Bill alive because of the data base? Or does she have a more nefarious motive? This is very exciting because we still have SOOO much that is yet to happen from the books, but the changes Sookie has made have left all these cracks in the story and I am clueless as to what will follow! So I’m not usually a fan of Vampire Sookie (I’ve only seen it done well a few times, re “My Universe’s” stories for example) but it would definitely solve all her problems and Eric would KNOW she loves him. It would sure “change her world”!! Thanks for all the time you spend sharing your talent. I cannot wait for the next update. Kathy

  15. So Bill thinks he knows something but he doesn’t know that he loved Sookie in that other reality. I suppose Sookie did come back from the future, but her body hasn’t experienced everything her mind and soul have. I wonder what will happen to Sophie Anne and Andre since they died in the other reality. And there is nothing Sookie or the victims can do about it. Too bad Bill didn’t die in the other reality( yeah that’s mean). This is a great chapter. I can’t blame Sookie for losing control. I’m looking forward to seeing what you do next.

  16. Hey rebelina! I’m sorry u were having so much trouble with fanfic readers. I wish they would have held onto those negative comments until this chapter then they would have seen that everything worked out. I loved this chapter it was amazing best yet I think! anyway I was wondering if u could try and tell everyone on twitter when u update this story on here because we won’t be getting fanfic notifications anymore. please keep writing because we love this story!

  17. Hey there Reb! I loved it on here and I loved your latest chapter! Go Sookie huh? The scene where Eric cares for her was lovely.

    Please don’t allow the clowns over on ffnet make you even consider changing the way this story is going, we’re loving it just as it is.

  18. Hope this doesn’t end up a double post — Thanks for a great emotional chapter. I’m wondering if Eric will ever find out that she did time travel. Thank you for sharing your great story with us!

  19. Loved it!!!!! Sorry that FF reviewers were jerks, just because you don’t like how a story is going being rude, especially in a passive-aggressive manner is uncalled for!

  20. I’m really sorry about those people on fanfic.net that pushed you to only update here on your blog now.
    This was a truly great chapter! I’m really glad that Eric responded in kind to Sookie’s declaration of her love and I’m even happier that they’ve bonded. I am worried about how Bill could know that Sookie is a time traveller, especially since he’s going to be delivered to QSA. I’m hoping that Sookie tells Eric everything about the truth soon because I think he can handle it and probably even help. I’m also glad that Sookie stood up to Bill and I hope that she doesn’t feel guilty about it later. I love this fic and will gladly follow it here on your WP!

  21. Hi Reb, I left a comment yesterday but I guess it didn’t work. Anyway Is Bill really gone? Why did the Queen want to keep him around? Will Sookie tell Eric that she did go back in time? Bill got that right. I understand why she did what she did to Bill, but I just can’t see her being so vicious. Pent up anger can do alot, and just exploded right? Bill just added to it , one more time to many. I do like your story and I’m going to keep on reading it.:)

    fffbone.

  22. I love it!!! I think Sookie needs to come clean with Eric ASAP though. Her psychic guise can damage the trust they have built. He will understand if she does it soon. Otherwise, we could be back to guarding their hearts and lost trust. I can’t wait for more!

  23. So how does he know about her time traveling? Great chapter, I like your Sookie, stronger, more confident. She does need to clue Eric in soon. Thanks for the update and sorry that some folks are being jerks, just ignore them.

  24. Awesome chapter, I got pissed off just reading it. Serves Bill right for kidnapping Sookie. I’ve pretty much been on the Kill Bill train since Club Dead. I’m glad Sook is starting to act more ruthless. On a lighter note, isn’t Eric just the sweetest little vampire. I’m so happy they can just love each other without him tricking stuff out of her or without her constantly putting up a fight. When I was reading your post on FF I seriously thought you were gonna say you were quitting the story, I almost cried… thanks for continuing, some people can be insensitive douches.

  25. Love it. So glad Sookie got to confront Bill and get out all her aggression, though I’m very curious as to how he knows she’s a time traveler. I hope that will come out soon. And Eric is unbearably sweet here. I like that she’s getting more involved in his world, and embracing the politics that go with his position. In truth, she’ll never be free of the supernatural politics, so it’s better to learn the game better so she can be a step ahead. I do feel eventually she may need to come clean with Eric about the cluviel dor though.
    Cheers, Balti K

  26. Great story please keep writing. I was a fan and follower on fan fic and will continue to follow you here if that is what you prefer. Dont let those stupid reviewers get to you. Your story is awesome and your right its your story to do with as you please, if they dont like it they dont have to read it. Cant wait to see what happens next. Why does the Queen like Bill. This is a better Sookie, I always thought that if she had listened to Eric and accepted his protection fully she would never have been taken by Thing 1 and 2. But her I can do it attitude in a supe world did not work in her favor.

  27. Just loved it! Although this whole–not telling Eric the whole truth thing–is worrying me. I’m sure you already have it planned out but damn, can Sookie tell him already!? Lol
    The more she waits the madder he’ll be..well at least I’m guessing?
    Either way can’t wait for more..kind of sad you won’t be posting it on fanfiction anymore but I’ll still check for the story here 🙂

  28. I am sorry that two asses made you leave fanfiction. You are gifted and I have read most of your stories. SO I will follow you here now.

  29. Oh, and before I forget, I know a few chapters back you were trying to establish a timeline. I dont know if you have it yet, but in the Sookie Stackhouse Companion, their is a review for each novel and a day by day date and month of what happened when for the entire 11 books. Might help you out making the story flow smoother. 😛

  30. Rebellina, I find your story amazing. THIS, this is what I want books 12 and 13 to be like. I feel like I really am reading a Charlaine Harris novel, you write just like her and you understand the characters and their motives. I really wonder how Bill knew that she time traveled, and I hope we find out. I would love to hear the story at one point from EPOV, to see what he thinks of Sookie, her predicitons and confessions and some of the more interesting storylines to come, the witches, Rhodes and ofc Appius. I found myself a bit confused why Sookie kissed Nino, but ofc, it was an innocent kiss and Im happy she met a male who saw more than a booty call and saw her as a human being. I felt jealous for Erics sake, but ofc Im happy that Sookie didnt hesitate here to make the blood bond with Eric and confess her love for him. I do hope that Sookie reveals to Eric the used CD and explain what really happened before someone else does to him, and he looses his trust in Sookie. That would be bad. Keep it up hun. I FLOVE IT!

  31. Love the new Sookie.
    But hateful Bill means an extra enemy, and I think he can be very dangerous, a true Lorena’s child.
    I have to wonder where from did Bill knew about the time traveling thing. And he was that stupid as to hid her in Baton Rouge?!

  32. I just wanted to let you know that this is one of my all time favorite Sookie/Eric fics and I am so sorry that you have been receiving rude reviews. Please don’t take any of the negativity to heart. You are a great and creative writer and you’ve definitely got me hooked 😉

    Thanks for sharing and I look forward to reading more!

  33. Loved it! Loved it! Loved it! Another fabulous chapter as usual. Cant wait for the next one. I agree with some other folks that she needs to tell him everything soon. And how did bill know about the time travelling?!!

    Thankyou so much x
    Sophie

  34. I bet Bill listen in to Sookie talking to her cat..I thought that was easy on Bill and I think this is not the last of Bill we will see.

  35. I LOVED this chapter I ‘m thrilled that Sookie got to release that pent up anger towards Bill he deserved it and so much more I was so happy when Eric tolD Sookie that he loved her and Eric knitting to funny. I agree with some of your other readers she needs to tell him everything soon. If Eric would turn Sookie would that stop the things that happened??

  36. Thank you so much for continuing this even though sometimes people can be cruel. I really enjoyed that this chapter dealt with some of Sookie’s issues, but it was a bit darker than I anticipted. I’m very much looking forward to the next chapter! Thanks!
    Spaz

  37. Well… you know I’ll read you wherever. 🙂 I’ll probably eventually get an account, but I may not, since I can get alerts without signing up. (Last thing I really need is ANOTHER account.)

    LOVED this chapter.

    I loved how she wailed on him, but then realized that that’s not HER… it’s not part of who she is, and to continue would be to be untrue to herself. But to let Eric take over? *Completely* in character! Wooot!

    I love how she mindfucked him. I’m sure he’ll be wondering how she knew so much about his human family (and his feelings about them) for a long time.

    -AuntieL

  38. Fabulous! Loved it, as always. I can’t wait to see when, or if, Sookie admits to coming back in time to save them.
    Good for her for beating him without guilt. Your Sookie has grown in many very important ways.

    Please don’t let the fanfiction fool reviewers get you down. There is a selfish contingent, a vicious contingent, and a separate crusading contingent and all of them hurt writers I cherish. If I could talk or smack some sense into them I would. Some people live to bring others down. Don’t let them win. Your loyal followers will come to you here. It’s all good.

  39. Hey Reb, Interesting chapter. Is Bill really gone? Why did the Queen want to keep him around? Will Sookie tell Eric that Bill is kinda right? She is traveling through time. I’m not sure but was Sookie screaming things out that didn’t happen to her this time? Eric will notice that.

  40. Love the chapter and I could feel all the pent-up rage that Sookie had for Bill. Were you channeling some of the nit-wits that left you their vile, spiteful messages? 🙂 Bravo, if it did –this was an amazing chapter. Now…I’ll have to bookmark this site. I hate you leaving fanfic as all my favorite writers are over there and it’s so much easier than trying to follow individual WordPress or Livejournal sites –but to get this quality, I’m willing to do so.

    Bravo!
    Pat

  41. Good chapter. So Bill is finally dead. Yeah!!! So will she tell Eric the truth? How did Sophie ann know that she was some sort of time traveler? Hmmm. The plot thinkens. Well lead on.

  42. Awesome chapter I really loved it ! already looking forward to yr next update, This is my first time using wordpress so I am still kind of lost but I will be checking in again. Thanks for sharing yr work with us.

  43. Not sure why, but I didn’t get an alert for this chapter, good thing you posted your a/n on FF or I would have missed it.. I guess if I don’t see an alert after a few days, I’ll just pop in to see if you have updated..would hate to miss a new chapter in this story..

    • Actually, what happened was that I had uploaded the chapter, and set the alert to go out tomorrow at noon-ish. So… you’ll get the alert tomorrow (sorry). Before that happened, I had my breakdown and couldn’t wait to just say F- it all. The rest is history. You will never miss an alert again, but if you ever do just pop on in on Wednesdays. Hope that helps… and I’m so sorry to confuse you in any way. It wasn’t my intention. 😦

  44. I think Eric is right in thinking she would make an incredible vampire. Her actions with Bill prove that. And she has learned so much from the mistakes she made in the previous time line. I am liking this kickass version of Sookie…

  45. Great chapter. I’m glad you are keeping the story going since you won’t be posting it on FF now. I love your stories and will read anywhere you post. I do like wordpress the best , if its not going to be on FF.
    I’m glad Sookie had her turn at Bill first, too bad she couldn’t have used a whip on him with silver on the tips. I hope that Sookie will trust Eric enough to tell him how she really knows the things that will happen. Loved it, thanks.. 🙂

  46. I finally made it over.yay, will take a while to navigate but its all good.
    I tink Sookie should tell Eric the whole truth.I mean Bill knew that she is a time traveller no telling who he told or who else knows.Sookie woman up.

  47. Love your stories and this one is no different. I’m glad that your didn’t let those few people turn you off for good. I like that Sookie finally had her eyes opened where her precious “bee-ll” is concerned. Keep up the good work!!

  48. Yet another author abandoning the FF ship. Well… in a limited capacity. I can’t say i’m unhappy, as i like the WordPress format, and alert system. Bless you for not moving to LiveJournal.

    Interesting that Bill made the leap to ‘Time Traveller’ straight away. When he suggested that Eric ask Sookie how she has travelled to the past, i wondered what else he knows? Was it a lucky guess, or has Bill done more snooping than Sookie realizes? Also, Eric is a smart Vampire. I’m sure he felt more from Sookie than he let on. He didn’t get to be as old and powerful as he is by instantly discounting the less likely scenario. Bill’s claim will no doubt come back up in conversation, real soon.

    Btw, thanks for the two updates in less than a week!

  49. I like that she kicked Bill’s ass. I’m still hoping though, that Sookie could trust Eric enough to tell him how she really knows whats going on. I get in the beginning he’d probably think she was a loon. But I think he deserves to know. But hey, this is ur story. And I’m loving it either way 😀

  50. Oh my goodness! What an amazing chapter. I loved every single word. I am sorry that reviews on fanfiction were hateful. I appreciate your hard work and am glad you are continuing this story here. This chapter was so freaking exciting. I loved Sookie beating the crap out of Bill. I could feel her frustration at him healing so quickly. How in the world does he know about her time traveling? I can not wait for more.

  51. I am glad a couple of people haven’t impacted your writing. I am really enjoying your story and am looking forward to finding out where your imagination will take the characters.

  52. Another stunner of a chapter! Clearly I need to learn about…ahem…how wordpress works. *sheepish* Can’t wait for more – I did a little calloo callay of glee when Bill got all smashed up. Go Sookie! Go Eric! GO! Skn xx

  53. Really excellent. Am loving this story, been following from the start. Like the detail you go into in your writing. Please don’t turn Sookie though!

  54. Thank you for continuing this story and not bending to those reviewers on FF. I did not see them so I can not comment on them personally, but anyone who tries to bully a FF writer needs some help.

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