Chapter 31 – Understanding

Sookie… even the name was sexy.  She said she was my wife, and my child Pam concurred.  For someone who had lost all his memories, I could certainly understand that I was one lucky bastard.  I’d offered to light the fire in her fireplace, but she didn’t want me to get too close to fire, not until she’d put the screen in front of it.  So instead I watched her, mesmerized by each movement of her sumptuous body.

“Sookie?” I said her name to get her attention, and to hear my own voice say it, to wrap my tongue around it like I wanted to wrap my tongue around her.  She turned to me with a slight smile.  She was trying to make amends for yelling at me earlier, when I was the one who owed her an apology.  But first I needed to understand… me.  “Can you tell me more about me, about us?”

She straightened and smiled a little wider.  “Sure, I’ll tell you everything I know.  I have to go get something, and I’ll be right back,” she said, and walked away.  I could hear everything she did.  She’d taken off her shoes, opened a closet door, closed it, then moved to another part of the house, opened another door, retrieved something that sounded like cloth, closed the door and returned to me.  She had a quilt in her hands, something that looked old and worn, and soft and comforting.  She laid it in front of the fire and sat on it.  I followed.

“Where should I start?” Sookie asked, watching as I sat in front of her.  I stretched my legs beside her, and she curled up, hugging her knees.

“How did we meet?  That’s a good place to start,” I answered.  She nodded and her face took on a far off look.

Something moved within me.  Sookie was telling me the story of the night we met, her expressions changing as the story progressed.  She’d started with a frown and ended with a smile.

“I even told my Gran about you.  You’d been so polite to me, nothing like what people make vampires to be,” she said.  She hadn’t looked at me up until that point.  The minute she did she blushed, her cheeks filling with crimson.  It added a new dimension to this creature.  She was proud, but shy.

“Then I visited your bar, and you offered me a job, probably to keep a better eye on me,” she continued the story, and I felt something else.  If I didn’t know any better I’d say she was transmitting her feelings, because this new anger wasn’t mine.  I listened intently.  “You kissed me, and I didn’t know what to do with you!” she smiled and the anger dissipated, followed by a feeling so deep and all-encompassing, that I couldn’t name it.  All I knew is that I wanted to wrap myself in it.  Was it mine?  Was it hers?

She related a story about a bartender who had stolen money from me, and I had engaged her services to verify the robbery.  She’d gotten hurt, and I felt her alien fear.  It was definitely hers.  She was inside me.  I couldn’t remember anything about my life but I understood certain things.  There were two types of blood bonds with humans: one to keep a human as a food source and a day person, someone to be at a vampire’s beck and call.  The second was a love bond, something rare.  Sookie was my wife, my love blood bonded.  I had done this.  I could feel what she felt because I cared.  I felt my lust dissipate and turn into something else as I began to understand.  I needed her.

“We went on a date set up by Pam,” she started, and told me about our first date, how I had given her my handkerchief when I knew she would cry, how I had helped bring things inside the house, how she had gotten attacked.

“What?” I interrupted, feeling her fear mingled with sadness, and my own rage creeping up.

“This man had taken it upon himself to kill women who dated vampires.  He saw me with you at the Knights of Columbus, and left the meeting early to wait for me here, to kill me.  You saved me, but…” Sookie took a deep breath that shook inside her chest.  She looked up and tears were brimming in her eyes, threatening to spill.  I hurt for her, wanting to cry with her.  I moved closer, moving slow so she would see me coming.

“You stayed by my side the whole night, watching over me in the ambulance, asking after Gran when we got to the hospital, offering me your blood to heal me so I could go to her.  You were with me when they took her off the machines, and you stayed with me while I filled out paperwork.  You even sent Pam to find out what had happened with the man who tried to kill me,” she sniffled and several tears spilled from her eyes.  I touched her cheek and wiped the tears.  They smelled like her, like her blood.  I wanted to lick them, to take her inside me that way.

Sookie looked into my eyes and I couldn’t move anymore.  “You tucked me into bed that night,” she smiled through the tears.  “You tucked the covers so tight around me I couldn’t move.  I’m happy Gran met you.  She really liked you.”  She adjusted her posture, lowering her legs to cross them in front of her, one of her knees grazing the top of my leg.  It was an intimate touch, even if it didn’t look like it.

“The night of her funeral you came and rescued me from everybody who still lingered in the house.  Then you stayed and kept me company.  We watched a funny movie,” she sniffled again and looked down and her hands on her lap.  I moved my hand from her face and took her hands.

Instead of resting her hands in mine, she held on tight.  “The truth is, Eric, that you loved me.  You loved me so much from the beginning, and I fell in love with you so desperately.  I don’t know how to be without you, not even like this.  You tell me you miss me when you wake.  You ask me about my day.  We make love every night, even when we don’t have sex.  You pray for me in Old Norse, you call me Svanmeyja,” her tears had stolen her voice.  “I am so mad that somebody did this to you, that you don’t remember me and that I’m the only one with the memories of our love.”

Her sadness hit me so hard, her love tangled in it.  She was trying to make me understand, and I felt like crying with her, missing something I couldn’t remember.  I needed this as much as she did.  My body needed it.  I pulled her to sit on my lap and held her trembling body against mine.  Even if I couldn’t be her husband now, I could still be hers.  I understood.  She turned into my embrace and fastened her arms around me, sobbing and screaming her pain into my chest.  I cried with her.  I understood.

She stopped crying suddenly and looked up.  “Eric?” she said my name and her eyes filled with wonder.  “Do you remember?”

I shook my head, hating myself for dashing her hopes.  I just wanted to love her.  I needed to.  It was imperative to soothe her ailing heart.

The wonder in her eyes didn’t leave at my confession.  “But… I can feel you,” she said, and scrambled out of my lap.  I felt empty immediately.  She knelt beside me, pulling my legs apart and moving to kneel before me.  She took my face in her hands and wiped my tears, first with her fingers, then with the sleeve of her sweater.  She let go of my cheeks briefly, to guide my hands to her waist.  I was confused.  Did she want me?

Sookie stroked my face and hair.  I felt that intense emotion that generated from deep inside her, and I let it wash over me.  It was more than love.  She lowered her lips to mine and kissed me softly, hesitating at first when I didn’t respond.  I wanted to return her kiss more than anything, but I didn’t want her to think I was feeling lustful.  Her lips demanded a response, so I kissed her back, moving my hands from her waist to her face.  I took a deep breath, taking her scent inside me at the same time that her tongue tasted my lips.  It was electric.  Her kiss made me feel complete; I had come home.  I understood.  It wasn’t that I had made her mine.  I had become hers.  Her mate.  Her husband.  Her heart.

She pulled away, trying to catch her breath.  She smiled shyly, and I smiled with her.  She wasn’t as sad as she had been.  She felt… hopeful.

“You’re still my Eric,” she said in a quiet voice.

I rearranged her to sit on my lap again, hugging her to me.  “Tell me more,” I said, wanting to hear everything.

She told me about our second date, the stories I’d told her about the wonders I’d seen, how I showed her to dance to Latin music, and later.  “It was my first time, I was a virgin,” she said in a tiny voice.

“You gave me your virginity,” I said feeling something close to humility.  She’d given me the highest prize her body could offer other than a child.

She shrugged, as if it was nothing.  “I was in love, even if I couldn’t acknowledge it yet.  You were very tender and very patient.  The next night, after making love a second time, you told me you loved me.  I didn’t believe you…”

“Why?” I asked immediately.  I loved her NOW and I barely knew her.

She looked at me with wide blue eyes.  “You’re over a thousand years old, and you can have anybody you want…”

“I don’t want anybody.  I want you,” I said immediately, feeling the conviction in my words.

She smiled.  “Yes, that’s what you said that night too,” she said in a quiet voice.

Sookie grew quiet, staring at the flames and holding onto my left hand.  She was absentmindedly caressing the ring I wore.  She wore one too, on the same finger as me.  I wish I could remember our times together, our wedding, our first kiss, the first time she danced in my arms.  This was truly the curse upon me: forgetting the time I’d spent with my blood bonded.  My wife.  We could make new memories, and I could rebuild my life even if the memories didn’t return.  What I’d lost, however, had hurt Sookie beyond measure.

“Would you like to watch a movie?” she asked, looking up.

“A movie sounds great,” I answered.  She looked tired, and I didn’t want to add anything else to her weariness.  The story of us would have to wait for another day.

I stood us up from the floor and let her pick a movie.  We lied on the sofa under the quilt and watched a funny animated movie.  “You were the one who left it here,” she had said, pointing at the box that contained the small disc.  I could believe it, since I was finding the movie quite enjoyable.

Sookie fell asleep in my arms before the movie was over.  I hit the “Power” buttons on the remote controls she’d left nearby, and carried her to the bed.  I tucked her in, probably too tight, and set off to find myself inside this house.  I knew I had clothes, and I knew I slept under the spare bedroom often.  What made this house my home?  I opened her bedside drawer and found a calendar for the month of January.  I retrieved it to find a picture of me on the other side of the folded page.  I had written on it: To my gorgeous wife Sookie, the only one I want in my bed.  Love, E.

I smiled.  This was obviously a calendar marketed at my bar.  I wondered how I had talked her into letting me take that picture.  There was a romance book next to a small container of hand lotion, and a note tucked inside the book.  Thank you for a wonderful night.  I am looking forward to many more by your side.  Yours, E.

The only night I could ever think to thank her for would have been our first night making love.  I couldn’t understand why she had saved the note inside this particular book.  I sat on the floor and read it.  It was about a penniless governess and her vampire lover.  I smiled to myself: Sookie was just a girl inside a woman’s body.  How old could she possibly be?  A quarter of a century, perhaps?  She said I was a thousand years old, and that I spoke Old Norse.  Had I really been around that long?

I put everything back as I’d found it and went to the dresser.  There was a men’s cologne next to her perfume, and two drawers with underwear for men.  For me.  It seemed like not enough clothes for both of us, like this wasn’t our permanent home.  No matter.  Sookie was here, and wherever she was there I ought to be.

I un-tucked the blankets and got in bed beside her, wanting her warmth and her scent.  I ignored the hunger for blood, for Sookie’s blood, and settled beside her.  While she dealt with trying to lift the curse off me, I could be here for her.  I understood.  I understood why she said we’d never fucked.  I understood her anger and her guilt.  I understood my need to be beside her.  Last night had been a jumble of confusion and too much information.  I didn’t feel her, and didn’t understand.  I felt her tonight.

Sookie woke but didn’t stir.  I knew she was awake because her feelings told me so, as well as the slight change in her heart rate and breathing.  She remained still for a long moment, then took a deep breath and sat up.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I have to brush my teeth,” she said and got up, moving slowly to the bathroom.  I followed, my curiosity getting the better of me.  I sat on the toilet’s closed lid and watched her, as mesmerized by this simple routine as with anything else she did.  She put her hair up, brushed her teeth with a mint paste, washed her face, put a lotion on it, then another, then finally let her hair fall back down.

“You like to brush my hair,” she said softly, handing me the brush she’d used on me earlier.  I was eager to touch her, so I ran the brush and my fingers through her hair slowly.  It was the same color as mine.  We would have beautiful golden-haired children.



“Do we live somewhere else than in this house?”

She had her eyes closed and opened them slowly.  “Yes, we spend most of our time in Shreveport.  We have a house and a condo there, though we barely ever use the condo.”

I nodded.  I understood.  She looked at my reflection in the mirror and smiled.  “I’m not very good company, am I?  I fell asleep on you.”

“Don’t worry, dear one.  I know you’re tired.  I’ll tuck you back in,” I said, putting the brush back where I’d seen it.  Before moving her back to the bedroom, I lifted her hair off her neck and kissed her softly.  Unable to move away, I kissed her soft skin again, and again.

Sookie’s small hand reached behind her to my face, caressing me as I continued kissing my way up to her earlobe, back to the nape of her neck.  I was in love, goddess save me, I was so in love.  I understood, I understood!

She turned to face me.  I needed this, I needed her.  She pulled me down to crush my lips into hers, opening her mouth so I could taste her, pushing her body against mine.  I pressed her close and something stung my thigh.  She pulled away quickly.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped, taking off her pants quickly.  I watched as she removed a small piece of jewelry from her underwear.  “I’m so sorry.  It’s a fairy amulet my cousin gave me.  I forgot I had it on,” she explained, and set the object on the counter next to the sink.  “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” I answered and pulled her to me again, wanting her lips.  She let me kiss her slowly this time.  She didn’t care about my fangs; she knew how to kiss me without hurting herself.  She let me pick her up and bring her back to the bed.  I could make love to her without having sex.  I would show her I still deserved her.

I settled her on the bed and settled myself above her, covering us with the blankets and threading my arms behind her back.  Everything we did was because she let me.  She let me kiss her face, her throat, her shoulders.  Her skin responded to my touch, as she did.  She reached for my sweater and pulled it over my head.  I took hers off too and pressed her warm skin into me.

“I love you, Sookie,” I whispered in her ear, wanting to be inside her and cure this need I had for her.  But I wouldn’t, not unless she told me it was alright.

Her lips were pink and a bit swollen, and her whole body was flushed red.  I kissed her again, enjoying the extra warmth from her body, the feel of her hands moving over my back, the scent of her arousal that was starting to fill the room.  Sookie ducked her head into my chest, kissing me until she reached my right nipple.  She took it in her mouth and sucked.  The feeling was tied to my own arousal.  I made a hissing noise followed by a deep growl that began inside my chest.

She stopped touching me and reached behind herself, taking off her underwear, freeing her breasts.  I understood.  She wanted me to put my mouth on her too.  Her nipples were a soft pink and had hardened.  “Please, Eric,” she whispered.  I stared at her full breasts, beautiful and soft.  How could I forget these?  I did my best to become reacquainted with them, kissing each tenderly, lapping at the nipples gently.  I was making love to my wife’s body, smelling her, tasting her, hearing every soft moan and whimper that issued from her mouth.

I moved down her abdomen, trailing kisses on the honey skin of her waist, licking a line right above the band of her panties.  I was completely under the covers now, but she threw them aside, to look at what I was doing.  I ran my finger between the fabric and where the heady scent of her arousal was located.  When I pulled the garment ripped, and she laughed.

“There goes another one,” she said.  She looked happy, still flushed with desire, and ready to let me continue my exploration.  I kissed the soft curls, moving down to part her with my tongue.  This is where her sweet taste was concentrated.  I pushed her legs back and settled to tasting and pleasuring her.  I loved watching her while I did this, and I loved it that she was watching me too.  I slid two fingers inside her tight sheath, and it immediately tightened even more.  My cock began throbbing with need, but this was not about me.  This was about Sookie, who had lost control of her voice and was moaning with each thrust of my fingers.

With her fingers tangled in my hair, and my fingers pleasuring her, I felt her orgasm build up and her blood calling to me.  I was so hungry, so hungry.

“Bite, Eric,” she shouted, contorted into herself.  I knew exactly where I wanted to bite, the sweet spot of her inner thigh.  I sank my fangs and felt her blood rush into my mouth, her life inside me giving me life.  Sookie shook under me, letting out a primal scream that only stopped when she ran out of air.  I was so turned on that I ached to have her.  But I couldn’t, not yet.  I closed her wounds and returned to her, to kiss her panting lips and give her a chance to pick the next action.

“Mmmm, Eric?” she moaned my name.

“Yes, my love?” I moved to kiss her jaw, to let her speak.

“It’s my turn,” she said.  I thought I would die of joy.  She pushed me into the bed and undid my pants expertly, taking every item of clothing off me.  She ran her breasts from my thigh up to my cock, and it took everything out of me not to take her.  With her ass up in the air she worked on me, imitating the things I’d done to her.  She kissed me everywhere, then licked her way up my shaft to the head, kissing and licking it before putting it in her mouth and pumping my cock hungrily.

I knew I wouldn’t last long, and I needed my seed inside her.  “Sookie, please, I need to be inside you, please,” I begged, my voice coming out thick inside a growl.  She stopped and I sat up immediately, laying her on the bed, watching her sweet face as she let me enter her, her lips forming a perfect O.  I buried myself inside her and didn’t move, wanting to prolong the feeling.  She wrapped her legs around me, letting me in a little deeper, at the same time that she pulled me closer.  She kissed me softly, and I began moving again, listening to the wet sounds of our bodies together, listening to her breathing and her heart hammering wildly inside her chest.

She loved me.  I could feel it strongly.  I hoped she could feel how much I loved her, how obvious it was that I knew where I belonged, and it was here beside her.  Our lovemaking was testament to the fact that we were love bonded.  I understood.  I’d chosen her before, and I chose her now, and I’d keep making the same choice forever.

Sookie’s hands caressed my back slowly making circuits over my skin.  She never stopped looking at me, and I got lost in her gaze as I made love to her.  “Do you feel it, Sookie?  Do you feel how much I love you?”

“Yes!  I love you too, so much,” she said and a tear escaped the corner of her eye.  I kissed her over and over, building slowly to my own release.  As it approached I moved faster within her, encouraged by Sookie’s cries of pleasure.  She climaxed and tightened around me, and I let go my own cries as I spilled my seed inside her, praying for a child with this woman.  My woman.

Next Chapter


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